At the doctor’s...

- How many glasses of wine do you take each day?
- Six glasses.
- But I only said three.
- I went to another doctor and he also told me to take three. Three plus three equals six.

Olive oil or wine?

At the village cafe, debate has livened up among a group of locals, including Mr Kalapothos, a real boozer. A late café-regular asks him (“lo” comes from a most ancient Greek compellation, principally heard around the villages of Eastern Mani):
- Lo, Mr Kalapothos, why don’t you tell us, which one is better, olive oil or wine?

- I’ll ask you in a different way, Yorgis: If a stranger shows up in our village, what will you tell him, “come home for a glass of … olive oil?

Miracle

The policeman signals to a car driver to pull over to the side of the road, as he appears to be driving erratically.

-You appear to have been drinking!

-No sir, I am just tired.

 The policeman looks into the car and notices that the driver is a priest! He also notices that there is an empty bottle on the floor. He says to the driver:

-What is, or should I say was in this bottle?

-Water!

-It is not, it's wine!

The driver looks up to the heavens and says:

-Oh Lord, you have done it again!"

Enemy...

- Wine is the worst enemy (said the priest of the parish to the bibber).
- But, father, the Evangel says “You should love your enemies”
- Yes, but it does not say “swallow them to the lees”.

Monologue of a boozer

- Should I take one more? My stomach says yes, my brain says no. Therefore my brain is wiser and the wiser always gives way. So I’ll take one more.

Enthusiast...

- Wife (hick!), fill in my wineglass!
- For God’s sake, will you really take more? Your guts are going to burst!
- Well, then! Fill it  in and draw one mile away!